Burnout Flip It and Reverse It

Bent Creek Trail, early morning at the start of my 50k training run

I’ve hit a little bout of burnout. And that’s okay! I’m writing this on the tail end of the dealio so I’m coming out of it. I definitely recognized it both in my performance and my mental state and I decided to give myself a nice breather. 

To recap, last week I successfully completed my 50k training run that capped off week 18. It went pretty well, I fueled and drank appropriately except I didn’t pack enough water for the last few miles. Luckily a little storm came through and the downpour helped cool me off. I was tired and uncomfortable near the end but wasn’t totally spent and, in general, felt pretty good. That was my last longest single day training run before the 50 miler and the 100 miler so I’m proud of how I performed. My pace was around the 14:30 min/mile but I did stop a lot to do some filming and the run had just over 4,000 feet of gain, which is about what I am expecting for the entire 50 miler, so I really think I nailed this training run.

Week 19 was a cutback week and the little 6 mile runs went fine through the early part of the week. However, I was supposed to do 14-16 miles at the end of the cycle and I set out at Bent Creek with my pack and a lot of confidence. I started out really strong, tackling about 7 miles with about 800ft of climbing in there. My pace was fast, the weather was perfect, and I felt great.

And then, out of nowhere, after I finished the downhill section at the end of mile 7, my body just was not having any more of it. I hit a bit of a steep incline and walked up feeling the wave of exhaustion crash over me. A lot of people in the running community call it “bonking”. It was happening to me. It’s this feeling of just not having anything left in the tank. It’s not really your legs, or your breathing, or any specific part of your body. It’s everything. All of it. Sometimes I can get myself out of it after some walking and eating so I decided to turn around and try to stick to the flat section of the trail to give myself a break.

As I walked and sometimes jogged, I desperately bargained with my own brain, “okay, maybe just do 12 miles. Just do like 3 more out on this flat section and then 3 back and you’ll get it.”

Then. “Okay, maybe just hit 10. Just do 2 out and then 2 back. Everything is fine, you’re just dehydrated and underprepared.”

Then, finally, “okay, so we’re just walking now. That’s okay, just get back to the car and get some carbs in ya. Remember when you did 31 last week?”

I drove home, drinking water and my recovery drink, feeling defeated but also understood that it just wasn’t my day. I had not eaten well the night prior, or had gotten enough sleep, and knew I didn’t drink enough water through the previous day and morning. I also had put in over 60 miles of running the week prior. I had asked a lot from my body and my body was fighting back. 

When I arrived home, I forced myself into a shower and then ate some lunch before dragging myself onto the front porch couch. With my feet up, I could feel how exhausted every ounce of my body was. Just tapped out. Spent. I could’ve napped right then and there. Instead, I still had to go to work!

The next day, I knew I would have two full days of no running and I was very much looking forward to the break. The first day I went on a great little kayak paddle while Gen trained for an open water swim. It was very surreal to be on the opposite side of training for a race. Here I was, sitting with my feet up, listening to music, getting a tan, while my wife swam for almost an hour and a half. We had such a good time out on the water that I recommended we celebrate by hitting up a nearby brewery.

Although I had been really good the past few weeks of eating well, not drinking, and being mindful of treating my body like a machine, I decided right then and there that I would allow myself two days of summer time fun before ramping up the training again. 

Weeks 20 and 21 are huge weeks, with 67 and 73 total miles respectively. And then the 50 miler is at week 23 with the 100 at week 28. These next 8 weeks are going to be the big push, with the most distances and most important time for focus and dedication. I figured, maybe a little selfishly, that this little break was well deserved and much needed. 

So post kayak outing, my wife and I enjoyed a couple of beers and a lunch at two breweries out in the Lake James/Old Fort area and then made a delightful summer time dinner later that evening. It was so relaxing not to think about what I was eating and drinking and how it would affect my running the next day. It felt so good to just enjoy the moment. I think that’s the biggest takeaway from doing all this training is valuing my time. Without a run or running on my mind, it was so incredibly amazing getting to spend the day fully with my wife and enjoying Western North Carolina’s summer time weather. I still love running and I feel that it will be something I always will do to help my physical and mental health, but experiencing the other parts of life that bring me enrichment and happiness are even more enriching now.

The next day, we tackled a bunch of yard work and I knocked out meal prepping. It felt good to get some productive activities accomplished, and we got to do them together. Then we hit up a concert for a band we both really enjoy, Washed Out, at a venue where we actually had our night-before-the-wedding-hang-out. Beautiful weather, awesome music, and I really let myself enjoy the ambiance while I bopped along with my wife.

I was sipping on a low alcohol beer and I knew I was supposed to run 12 miles the next day but I started to do a little mental acrobatics and decided to move a few things around this week so that I could enjoy the evening. Maybe a little self indulgent, but it felt like the right moment to pull that card.

So, here I am, the morning after the concert and although I should’ve run 12 miles before heading to work, instead of feeling panicked or mad at myself about giving in to having fun, I feel great. I know I need to drink water and mentally get ready to tackle tomorrow’s 12 miles and the rest of the tough running this week, but instead of dreading it, I’m looking forward to it! 

I knew this 100 miler would involve a lot of sacrificing of my time and it definitely has proven to be the case. I feel that I have been dutifully committed to hitting my numbers and I have said “no” to so many things over the past year in order to train. However, I am not a machine and I could tell I had to have this three day summer break or I would’ve broken in a different way.

I’m fully embracing the burnout and plan on using it to reset and prepare for the last push. 8 weeks to go!?